“Yes, that person is my friend. You know, you can never know when somebody might help you so its good to have friends” – Most Kenyans when talking about their friends.
In life, we must learn to distinguish between genuine friendships and relationships of mutual assistance. Friends should help but may not necessary do so. This should not determine the friends you choose. A friend does not have to do anything on your behalf for you to call him or her a friend. It is all a matter of circumstance and ability. You can only define a friend in terms of their intentions in building up a friendship with you, the motives that drive their actions and their level of concern if you are in a bind.
Friends are people who direct you on the right path, correct you when you are wrong and advice you when you need advice. Friends do not tell lie to you, entertain controversies and/or speak ill of you. If your friend does this then you might be confusing friendship with two people who enjoy living a sadistic type of lifestyle. In this type of lifestyle, you both see life as a confluence of pain, anguish, joy and a semblance of happiness. This is actually true but in this case, the drama and pain does not find you. You and your friends actively pursue it and hence the sadism in your friendship.
In conclusion, you should not choose friends based on what they can do for you in future. Rather, you must choose friends based on who they are as people. Look at their hearts; it is the epicenter of all the motives and the overseer of all human intentions.
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