I cannot sleep right now and I do not have any active arguments online. Therefore, I thought it would be nice if I wrote something small. It is about marriage. Many people look at me and they ask why I am not yet married. I look at myself and I say, “Thank God, I made it this far, a luta continua.” Marriage is a serious thing and I intend to be a good husband, but more importantly, a good father. That means preparation and prayer.
I remember talking to a beautiful chick (one of the top ten most beautiful women I ever met. Yes, I have a personal top 10 list) when I was twenty or so. We were talking religion. I told her that I must examine who was right between the Protestants and Catholics. She told me it is impossible. I concurred adding that this dispute covers many centuries. How can I know who is right within a lifetime? Well, I got my answer albeit six or so years later. Now I can teach my children the Catholic faith with confidence.
In campus, I started thinking from a broader perspective than I had thought before I got to university. I wanted to decide between faiths. In fact, I wanted to see if faith in itself was correct. Again, I think I covered that one. Atheism is a limited form of philosophy much like a child who never grows. It also became apparent that the basis of Christianity is Truth and Love, unlike other world religions. Only those two things are real so faiths that emphasize on anything else other than these two concepts have inherent flaws.
As you can see, my preparation towards marriage is fundamentally different from that pursued by other people. Next, I had to deal with lust because it makes you stupid. To put it differently, you cannot think clearly when you are a victim of your passions. Men can marry a woman thinking that they love her, but lust is driving them to her, not love. For example, someone could be mistreating you yet you choose to ignore it. You ignore it consciously or subconsciously. I believe I have conquered all aspects of lust with the exception of ogling. That one is still in the works, but I will get there soon.
Finally, there is a woman’s beauty. I admit it. I am vain as reflected in having a top 10 list of beautiful chicks I have met. I have sidelined women simply because I do not find them physically attractive. I believe I have known the most beautiful women this world has to offer or we can just say Kenya for now. Still, I would find tiny flaws in them to help me escape a relationship. For example, there was one with a big forehead. Funny thing is that she is exceptionally beautiful and she does not have a big forehead. It was just my mind helping me avoid commitment.
Anyhow, my next step after conquering ogling is to focus on inner beauty. Doing so would exponentially increase the pool of women available to me. It would also increase their quality. You see, limiting yourself to artificial parameters reduces your chances of happiness substantially. You settle for stupidity, chaos, or unhappiness simply because you value beauty. I always remind myself that my children require a good mother. They would never see her as an ugly person so why am I focusing on it.
Dwelling on such parameters at the expense of a person’s goodness is selfish. I would also term it as a crime against my children. Does that mean I will get an ugly wife? No, it does not because everyone is beautiful. I think I will be ready for marriage as soon as I conquer this final part ceteris paribus. Ni hayo tu kwa sasa. I need to sleep. Kesho in church.
Post Script: I have just received a notification that someone replied to a debate I initiated on Facebook. I am still going to sleep. I will debate about Coptic Christians in Egypt tomorrow.
Disclaimer: Thinking about it means 6 years or so in my book.